Dear Duchess of Sussex,
On behalf of the US Treasury and Congress, the IRS would like to congratulate you and Harry on your marriage. Your marriage causes us to reflect on how King George’s overreach and tyranny with the Colonies triggered the birth of our great Nation. In that spirit, and now that your wedding is over, we would like to inform you of the following:
You are required to fill out Form 8938 identifying all of your “foreign to us” bank accounts of any type, all identifying data, the highest balances, and send them to the us. This would include any checking or joint bank account you have with your husband, the Prince, as well as any bank account where you would have a beneficial or non-beneficial interest. Please include any volunteer organization, non-profit trust fund, right down to any money that you might have on your “foreign” debit card. Please also monitor our website at all times, because we may, for whatever reason, change the due dates for these forms. Sorry, if that makes it more tricky and can cause exposure to our penalties. Oh yes, the penalties:
Please note that failure to timely and accurately comply will result in $10K penalty for each violation, that is if we are nice any think that the violation is non-willful. However, we think that it is a willful violation, the penalty will be $100K per violation or 50% of your assets, whatever is higher. We get to chose. And “per violation” means per year, it can mean per account, or per mistake, whatever. Yes, you are right, the penalties can greatly exceed whatever is in your bank account.
Please note that we will levy these penalties whether or not you owe taxes. The reason why we need to collect this data is that we believe that anyone overseas with a bank account is a terrorist, money launderer, etc. Anyone else that would live overseas must have done so to avoid paying taxes. Why else would you run off and marry a Prince in a foreign country? Yes, we understand that your taxes are higher in the UK, but their taxes are not real taxes. Ours are – and you are avoiding ours, which you are never allowed to do.
We do not tax you based on your “domicile”, as states do, we tax you based on who you are. Besides, this is not about taxes; this is about penalties.